Hard Biting News #4

Hard Biting News #4 4 Bagger

Announcer: And now we take you to Star of the Game, with Channel Six’ own Star of the Game, Herb Leeker.

Herb: It came down to two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning, and the Pharaohs trailing 4 to 1. With the bases loaded on a full count, and Greg “Lug Nut” Lazanski at the plate:

Video Replay: Wilson returns to the mound. The Pharaohs are down by three. Bases loaded and a full count. Lazanski represents the winning run, but he’ll have to go yard. Can he do it? The infield is back and the outfield is playing him deep. Lazanski digs in. Wilson gets the sign. Here’s the windup. The runners are going. Here’s the pitch. He connects… and there-it-goes! No doubtaboutit! Into the bleachers in left field . He’s done it! Lazanski wins it on a game-winning grand slam! The fans are going wild! Holy mackerel! Pharaohs win! What a game!

Herb: And with us is tonight’s Star of the Game, the Lugger himself, Greg “Lug Nut” Lazanski. Welcome to Star of the Game, Lug Nut.

Lug Nut: Thanks.

Herb: That was quite a blast, wasn’t it?

Lug Nut: Yeah.

Herb: How do you feel after hitting a walk-off grand slam like that?

Lug Nut: Good.

Herb: Winning the game the way you did must be a thrill for you.

Lug Nut: Yeah.

Herb: You’re down by three. Bases loaded. Full count. Two outs in the bottom of the ninth. What were you thinking when you were facing Wilson?

Lug Nut: Hit the ball.

Herb: Were you looking for him to throw you a particular pitch?

Lug Nut: Yeah. A 3-2 pitch.

Herb: Wilson is one of the best closers in the game today. He doesn’t blow many save opportunities.

Lug Nut: Yeah.

Herb: Did the manager discuss the situation with you before you stepped into the batter’s box?

Lug Nut: Yeah.

Herb: You know, Lugger, you can answer the questions in more than one syllable. It’s OK to expand your answers a little.

Lug Nut: OK.

Herb: So what did the Skipper say to you?

Lug Nut: Exactly?

Herb: Ahem…How about you tell us what he said in your own words?

Lug Nut: I can’t.

Herb: You can’t? Why can’t you?

Lug Nut: Because they were his words, not my words.

Herb: Good grief… just tell us what he said.

Lug Nut: Hey, nitwit, hurry up and get this over with. I got a poker game tonight.

Herb: Whoa, Lug Nut, I know you’re a big star and all that, but don’t call me a nitwit.

Lug Nut: I didn’t call you a nitwit.

Herb: I just heard you. I’m a professional journalist. I know what you said.

Lug Nut: I didn’t say what I said.

Herb: Look. You said I was a nitwit.

Lug Nut: You said it.

Herb: Hmmmph. Well, this has been Star of the Game. Back to News Central.

Announcer: We will continue with the post game wrap-up after a word from our sponsor, Flarmy International Dust Corporation, the Clean Dust People. If your dust isn’t Flarmy, it just isn’t dust…

Copyright © 2020 Lawrence Gordon